One December morning in 2019, my very wonderful colleague, Sara Eloquin, a Horsham-based Cranio-Sacral Therapist, messaged me to urge me to switch on Virgin Radio immediately, telling me that Chris Evans was talking about how his son had benefitted from primitive reflex integration!
Chris Evans, as pictured in the Daily Mail on 4th December 2019
Chris Evans was presenting the Breakfast Show, and telling the world excitedly how his son, Eli, has gone from hardly being able to read and write or do maths to being well ahead of his peer group, just from doing ten minutes of movement per day to inhibit his retained reflexes.
He explained retained reflexes in fantastically simple terms as going to school with the brain not correctly wired to be able to do what a child is being asked to do.
Chris describes reflex integration as a “blooming miracle” and has joined the ranks of those of us who have experienced transformation first hand and now want to tell the world.
He also excitedly announced that he himself, aged 53, has retained reflexes – as do the teachers at his son’s school. In fact, most people do. If you’ve ever struggled in life, retained reflexes may be at the root of your struggles!
*nb. the slightly slap-dash nature of the journalism in this news story suggests either very tight deadlines or…. you’ve guessed it…
I’m writing this post both as the parent of a child with retained reflexes – as reflex integration consumer, and as a neuro-developmental therapist, trying to do the best for her clients.
I’ve picked the most frequently occurring scenarios to give you a peek at both sides of the fence in order to set expectations even better, avoiding any potential issues, and really just laying it all out on the table as it is – demystified
retained reflexes
1.How many sessions will reflex integration take?
Oh, dear parent… If I had a penny for the number of times I asked this myself – or the number of times I’ve been asked… I would be richer than Richard Branson by now.
I’m very sorry, but it’s completely impossible to predict how long you’ll need to see a therapist for.
However, what I can say is that if you follow instructions carefully, do the programme every day, and keep in contact with your therapist, you will see change.
I have discharged children after as little as three months, but some I will be seeing for a good couple of years. It’s also important to say that some will need a break to allow their systems to develop by themselves. They may need input by other modalities, such as osteopathy, Bowen technique, Safe and Sound Protocol, iLs Focus…
You may end up having a break from a therapist for a bit, but they’ll welcome you back when you need to see them again.
2. Why aren’t reflexes integrating faster?
Please allow your therapist to unravel your child’s development! You MUST be patient.
Your child has been living with unintegrated reflexes all this time – it’s not going to be instant. Additionally, it could be that we need to go back even further than reflexes and address the autonomic nervous system, which is something I advise nearly all my clients to do. Not everything is as a result of “a reflex”, but a reflex can show us where we need to work with a nervous system and brains.
3. We’re also doing OT, speech therapy, a gluten, dairy and sugar-free diet, taking fish oils and magnesium, the Nemechek Protocol, and seeing a homeopath and an osteopath
Take a step back!
Try and work out what is working for you and stick with that.
If you want to try all the other methods, please try them first. Then come back and see us and see whether you notice any difference.
We cannot advise on anything other than reflex integration.
4. Why is my child not able to engage with your movement programme?
How long are you doing movements with them for? Are you following your therapist’s exact instructions? Did you receive a leaflet on what overwhelm is and how it looks?
If you see any yawning, reddening of the skin, tensing up or general unrest, it’s time to stop! It doesn’t matter whether your therapist has said “about half a minute” – what is your child telling you? If your child doesn’t want to continue with their movements, it’s not because they are being naughty but because they have had enough. If you keep going once a child has had enough, they will go into overwhelm.
What does overwhelm look like? Well, it could mean that they lash out, or that they shut down altogether. You could give them a severe headache or even make them vomit by continuing with movements. In once case I’ve heard of, someone actually gave their child a seizure. So please, listen to your child. If you are not sure, please seek clarification from your practitioner.
5. Can’t I do this myself? Or can I take training to learn it myself?
Well, there is indeed absolutely nothing stopping you from doing it yourself.
However, is it REALLY more cost effective?
Reflex integration changes your child’s brain by forming new connections. If you are confident to do this from videos, go for it.
I have been in this situation myself, and decided that I was just too close to my own child to be effective. In fact, guess what, I still take my children to a practitioner for a second pair of eyes from time to time! They will see things that I don’t notice, because I’m with them every day.
Training-wise, an RMTi training course is great fun. However, will it qualify you to work with your own children? To a certain extent, it will – but you’d need a LOT of training to take them the whole way, and would probably still need to see a practitioner for that second pair of eyes!
6. Whoops! I haven’t paid yet!
Well, please pay then! You know, therapists have bills just like you. We have to rent our practice rooms, keep up to date with training and make sure we are fully insured, as well as providing equipment. We are also lovely people and really dislike chasing for payment, but you really SHOULD pay us on time.
7. I will give you a shout when I next want to book an appointment
In order for a reflex programme to work effectively, it’s a necessity to follow up regularly, rather than erratically. It takes a couple of weeks for new synapses for form, and another couple of weeks for them to myelinate effectively. At that point, it’s a good idea to review and tweak a programme.
So, when I ask you what time in four weeks’ time you’d like your next appointment, please book it in there and then.
8. It’s OK to contact you at 6pm on a Saturday evening via Facebook messenger, isn’t it?
No – it really isn’t.
9. Arrggh – Henry’s behaviour has been terrible since we last saw you! Is this a regression?
Loosely speaking, yes. However, I call it “reorganisation” rather than “regression”. In other words, the brain is trying to get used to doing something new, so behaviour will change temporarily.
A regression would be if behaviour becomes worse than it was before we started work, and will always be as a response to a child not feeling safe in their environment – because neuroplasticity works from the bottom up.
10. What would make my child’s reflex integration work better?
Now you’re talking. I’ve been waiting for you to ask this, in fact.
Firstly, please make sure you are comfortable with your therapist. Your relationship is paramount to success. Remember that they have trained long and hard to do this work and have probably seen similar profiles to your child before.
Secondly, have you thought about going on programme yourself? It is very valuable to understand what your child is going through by experiencing it yourself first hand! In fact, I would not be doing this work myself now had I not taken this step.
Thirdly, please take a charged phone to your sessions and VIDEO movements. It’s sometimes very hard to remember what you’ve seen and reproduce it later on, so videoing is ideal.
Fourthly, please follow your practitioner’s instructions very carefully, and if in doubt, go back to them and ask. They will not mind! In fact, practitioners love to hear how you are getting on (as long as you don’t expect a response at 6pm on a Saturday night!). Please also make sure that you stick to your programme every single day. The odd day off is ok, but you must try and stick to it, come what may.
Finally, please do not do any more than you are instructed to do. At an absolutely maximum. a child’s programme would be fifteen minutes. In most cases, MUCH less than this. RMTi practitioners’ mantra is “LESS IS MORE”, and this is true: If a nervous system is very sensitive, the less we do, the better the results. If you overstimulate an over-sensitive nervous system, you’ll get a child in constant overwhelm.
I hope this has been helpful!
If you’ve read this and are dying to work with me, I’d love to see you! Please book an appointment and I’ll see you in my cabin as soon as I can!
You have undoubtedly found this blog post because you have an interest in retained primitive reflexes. Welcome!
Have you been thinking about doing it yourself? Either with YouTube videos, or even by purchasing an online course?
Or perhaps you have been trying a do-it-yourself approach, using books, videos and online training? In which case, have you seen the results you wanted over a period of time?
I remember when I first heard of primitive reflexes and how it was like bright lightbulb switching on. My son was always very slow to develop milestones, such as sitting and crawling, but once he had them, he’d do them beautifully. I always had a feeling that there MUST be a way of giving his development a little nudge and a confidence boost. The concept of retained reflexes made absolute sense.
So the first thing I did was to google. I googled like mad. I found YouTube videos and watched them avidly.
I didn’t do any of the movements/exercises that I found on youtube for myself, though – nor did I get my children to do them. I thought that if it’s that simple, why would people charging money to see people in person?
So we went to see a practitioner… and eventually, I started training myself, having seen miraculous change – you know my story already if you’ve been following my page for a while!
I have recently had a couple of prospective clients who have told me that they’ve been following YouTube videos to integrate reflexes, and I’ve been trying to find a polite way to explain why this isn’t a good idea. I’ve also seen people asking about this in various online support forums, and my response would always be to see a professional.
In once case, I noticed that someone had been doing this by themselves from books for the last three years. Apparently, things had moved very fast in the first couple of months, but thereafter, had plateaued.
It is also very important to know that if the very foundational reflexes have not been integrated, emotions and behaviour will be more than likely be negatively affected. That is why it is important to understand that when a professional assesses, we are looking at the earliest point at which development was disrupted – that is where we start.
The other thing I’ve heard people say is “oh yes, we did primitive reflexes, but he/she plateaued after a while so we didn’t think it was worth continuing”. Or people say it simply hasn’t made any difference, in which case, I would question whether they have been doing exactly as they’ve been told. And is there REALLY no change? Most of the time there is, but it can be very subtle – especially at the start. Additionally, if you are not consistent in doing the movements regularly – at least five times a week – you will not see such rapid or obvious change.
Gill Brooksmith, an educational kinesiologist, who has been working with reflex integration for twenty years or so has worked with a client who had trawled the internet and applied everything she had garnered day in and day out to her child.
The child was completely discombobulated and struggled with proprioception – he had absolutely no idea where he was in space. By working gently with the child, she was able to rebuild her foundations”.
It took quite a while to gently integrate. We have reflexes for a purpose and they need to seamlessly slide in and out, propping one moment, integrating the next. We are perfectly created, we only need gentle tweaking with love.
Svetlana Robertson is a neuro-developmental therapist based in Bedfordshire. Like me, she has worked extensively with her own family before qualifying in reflex integration and the Safe and Sound Protocol herself. I asked Svetlana whether it would be possible a person who has just discovered the concept of retained reflexes to identify ALL the reflexes affecting themselves or their child, using YouTube and books. This is what she says:
If you have just discovered the concept – and this is one good feature of YouTube videos and online research overall – if that made you think about the concept and start looking into it in more detail – this is where the role of YouTube ends. It is useful to wonder, observe and research, and some parts of your observations may prove correct. However, there are so many nuances within each individual reflex pattern, and there are so many reflex patterns, interrelated intricately, that YouTube is powerless to fully address and explain.
I then asked what the dangers of parents (or even other professionals, for that matter) self training, using videos from YouTube or online reflex integration training courses. Svetlana says:
At best, a lot of time will be spent with not much progress. It is, however, possible to confuse the body even further which may mean worsening of the deficits we are trying to address and creating new difficulties, having to ‘undo’ even more counterproductive movement patterns with a qualified specialist. In both cases, one would end up going to a qualified specialist to address the problem. The assessment and recommended movements may look very easy and simple in the videos – it is deceptive however; many people who come to train in reflex integration admit that they only started understanding it when they practised the process over the course of many months, sometimes years. One has to work in person with a qualified specialist to ensure the correct process is being followed
Even when we work with clients and show them movements and explain signs of overwhelm, we tend to get people thinking that the more they do, the faster it will “work” – this is NOT the case at all – it’s always a case of less is more when working with a sensitive central nervous system. In particular with the Safe and Sound Protocol, I’ve had parents simply not able to take in what I tell them, who have then massively overstimulated their child, who, surprise suprise, then has a huge meltdown or dreadful sleep disturbances because they are in overwhelm. Proof of how important it is to work with someone who knows what they are doing – and LISTEN – and ask questions… because there are NEVER any silly questions, and you can never ask the same thing too many times.
The other option is to train yourself by going on courses with RMTi or MNRI, but the caveat here is that it will take several rounds of training sessions and several months or years of practice to fully understand how this works enough to unravel a child’s difficulties sufficiently to make consistent, visible progress.
Additionally, a good neuro-developmental therapist will know their limits and when to refer to a cranial osteopath, when to use the Safe and Sound Protocol or refer for a therapeutic listening programme, or when to give a person’s system a break to allow integration.
