Support for SEND parents in crisis: Finding your own balance

The SEND world is like walking a tightrope above a ravine…

As SEND parents, we are under constant strain to protect the interests of our children and fight their corners. It’s really tough.

When people bring their children to me, I can see myself with my son, six years ago when we started working with our legendary reflex integration practitioner. I often see, just as he saw in me, that parents need support so they can feel “safe” in the world just as much as their children.

Our therapist never told me that I’d benefit from work on myself – I came to that conclusion myself – partly because I’d seen such a miraculous transformation in my son and wanted to see what it’s like to change! (I also wanted to know whether I really did have any retained reflexes… because… you know…. I’d always done well in life, and couldn’t possibly be anything other than neurotypical).

I wish the more integrated version of myself could give the six years ago version of myself a big hug and tell myself it was all going to be ok – because it IS ok. And I’ve made it ok, thanks to the fact that I admitted to myself that I needed support.

So now… a quick thanks to our therapist, as well as Gill Brooksmith, Janice Graham, Gaynor Ralls (in fact, if it were not for Gaynor, I would have given up when FPR kicked in on several occasions – making me doubt myself and procrastinate!), and also Moira Dempsey for her incredible knowledge and enlightening reframing of the way I now look at things.

By admitting that I needed to be supported by others, and by working on integrating my own retained reflexes, I feel like a new person.

I have been practising for a couple of years now, but I would not have seen myself in this role six years ago at all. Now it defines me: watching the incredible transformations in my clients, I know that I’ve finally found my vocation.

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