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Moro reflex

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Babkin reflex FPR: Fear Paralysis Reflex Moro reflex

Rocketman: alcoholism, drug addiction and eating disorders

I have just been to see Rocketman, which is the story the transformation of shy child music prodigy, Reginald Dwight, to international superstar Elton John, and his story retold as part of group therapy in a rehabilitation clinic.

The film starts with Elton John marching into a group therapy meeting in his rehab clinic, dressed in full flamboyant gear, where he introduces himself and the reasons why he is there: alcoholism, addiction and bulimia.

We then see a five year-old Reginald Dwight at home with his emotionally abusive mother, uncaring father, and doting grandmother. He craves hugs, asking his father “When are you going to hug me?”. and receiving the absolutely heart-breaking reply “Don’t be so soft”.

His mother is dismissive of his musical talent, even when he is invited to audition for the Royal Academy of Music, so thank goodness that his grandmother stepped in to encourage him. Interestingly, his mother is happy to sponge off him once he’s a multi-millionaire.

As his fame rockets, he is used and abused by his narcissistic manager and lover of five years, John Reid, and enters a downward spiral of self destruction, despite the unconditional friendship of his song writer best friend, Bernie Taupin.

Throughout the film, his mother belittles him and blames him, even saying at one stage that she wishes she had never had children. His father is absent, having left when Reginald was in his early teens. Many of the scenes involving his parents reduced me to tears.

But then I realised something: both parents displayed the characteristics of a strong Babkin reflex and were completely incapable of bonding with their child, Given that unintegrated primitive reflexes are said to be hereditary, it would follow that Elton John also has inherited a Babkin reflex.

If attachment in infancy and childhood is poor, there is more likelihood of behavioural and emotional challenges in later life.

The Babkin reflex is responsible for bonding and attachment, and if retained it can cause addiction and eating disorders. In addition, the film mentions Elton’s shopping addiction.

The film is a technical masterpiece. It is also a lesson in hugging children to make them feel secure and develop a strong bond.

I am so happy that Elton John has found true love in life and is providing a secure and loving environment for his own children. Anyone watching this film will develop a soft spot for this talented superstar.

I just want to give him a massive hug.

Babkin reflex Moro reflex

Why are some people just so ANGRY?

There are some people who cannot confront people face-to-face, and yet they are happy to write emotive and abrasive e-mails to express displeasure. I’ve just received one now, which is what’s given me the idea of writing this post. He would rather e-mail than deal with an issue by discussing it face-to-face, having let things bubble under the surface and get to seething point before exploding – electronically.

Why not talk try and discuss contentious issues, rather than be rude in e-mail format? When people can’t deal with a problem maturely, resentment tends to escalate on both sides of the fence, when this could easily have been avoided.

The fact is that people’s behaviour is governed by their neurology, so we can’t even really blame people for being “angry” or “rude”.

The sender of this e-mail doesn’t realise it, but I have been observing his behaviour for a while (I observe most people’s behaviour). His active Moro reflex means that he has extreme difficulties with processing and rationalising what he perceives to be challenges or irritations. Instead, he’ll over-react and blurt inappropriately, which offends people.

As a former translator, who networked extensively within forums online, I noticed similar behaviour – extreme over-reactions and an inability to simply let things go and move on.

So what is going on with these ANGRY people? The fact is that their Moro is controlling them and they simply cannot rationalise. They are living in survival mode, and are being controlled by brainstem reflexes.

There is often – but not always – also an element of active Fear Paralysis and Babkin reflexes in ANGRY people, both of which are important for feeling safe and relating to other people effectively.

The Moro (or startle/fight or flight) reflex emerges at the beginning of the second trimester, and should integrate and become the adult “strauss” reflex by four months of age. It is triggered through a reaction to strong vestibular, auditory, visual, tactile or proprioceptive stimuli – for example, if a baby is suddenly put down backwards and thinks it’s falling, a loud sound, something that feels unpleasant etc.

The baby will take a rapid inward breath and extend his or her arms away from the body, and then draw arms and legs into the midline of the body and then cry.

This is what the Moro reflex looks like in a newborn

Three days after I started working to integrate my own reflexes, my husband and I were trying to decide between kitchen counters for our new kitchen: I had narrowed the choice to three possibles, while he had narrowed to about ten. The old me would have patiently gone along with his ten choices and gently tried to persuade him to go with my three… but the reflex integration version of me had a toddler tantrum, stamped my foot, shouted “Just bl***y make a decision!”, and then stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me. Then I got into my car and cried! The shout and foot stamp was the first part of the Moro, and the crying was the second part. Terrible twos can happen when you’re 43! You will be pleased to know that my husband was so shocked at my outburst that he did indeed narrow his choice down, and I felt SO much better after my cry.

I’m stuck with my blow-hot-blow-cold friend with the neurological maturity of a toddler – and by the way, we are actually really great friends face-to-face. I am not just saying this because I dislike receiving his sarky e-mails. I’m merely describing what I see. When we are born, we are nowhere near ready to function in the world, and even when we grow up, we may still not be ready to deal with the world around us effectively. Because I understand this guy’s behaviour, I don’t let his e-mails bother me.

If you tend to blame everyone else for the things that go wrong in your life, please do consider working on your Moro reflex. You will feel so much better for it. You will be able to relax, let things wash over you, and able to accept that it’s not always everyone else’s fault.